Zia Sopapilla

After a prolonged bout of stage 4 cottonmouth, Lil Carne Seca is in need of extensive dental work to repair months of having like, no spit. Elder homie, H2Og, arguably our crew’s most hydrated toker, tried to warn Lil Carne Seca, but he wouldn’t listen. H2Og is quoted as saying, “Eee now that fool is going to need a GoFundMe.” As of press time, no one cared enough to set up the campaign, but the crew decided they’ll do it, “after this last joint.”  We’ll update as we get more information. Thoughts and prayers to the homie Lil Carne Seca. We told you, a. 

 LAS VEGAS, NM, Feb 30, 2022 -- After two Public Speaking classes at Highlands, Mama Dolores creates a a riveting Master Class on heño based parenting. Class to be held at Our Lady of Sorrows Parish Hall. Learn her tried and true methods, such as: The "callate we're in church" glare The open ojo warnings The surprised, "Oh si, you think you're tough?" Mama Dolores will also cover how to adjust your gaze based on your hitos' age and the malés they're making. Sign-up at all Lowe's Super Save locations.

  Getting down for a chimi? Grabbing a Tallsup after putting gas? Yes, you'll smell like Allsups, and yes it will take some careful movidas to get your clothes smelling fresh again. We have a 3 wash process that works 100% of the time and we'll share it with you. Wash 1 Grab some osha and place a piece in the washer with your Allsups clothes Wash in osha and hot water so the clothing smells worse than the original Allsups smell Wash 2 Now that your clothes wreak of osha, place a small amount of Vicks under your nostrils to get you through the next steps Add vinegar to the washer and do a cycle on rinse only You're replacing the osha smell with the vinegar smell so you're 2 smells away from the Allsups smell Remove clothes and soak in Fabuloso in one of those tubs your get from the hospital. We know your Abuela has one saved. Wash 3 Place Fabuloso soaked clothing in washer Add fabric softener and wash the load like normal When the load is complete you will have successfu...

Elena Lopez, hita de Bernadette Lovato, was given the reality check of her 10 year old lifetime yesterday. While attending a family barbecue, her little cousin Jake asked, “Is Stella really your Tía or my Auntie Bernadette’s best friend? Why isn’t she my Tía like Bernadette?” Perplexed, she asked her mom, and we here at Zia Sopapilla confirmed, that Tía Stella is in fact, Bernadette’s friend of 23 years. Elena Lopez is currently in recovery pondering what sangre really means. 

  Tired of all the group texts and cryptic social media posts, local chismosas took matters into their own hands and started up a news site to show all the haters what's up. From chile news to that rumor about Maria's man, we'll have you asking, "who's really down?" Come throw a cruise with us up and down I-25, around 518 and over 285, homies.