Zia Sopapilla

New Mexico Announces "Poquito" and "All kinds" as Acceptable Units of Measurement In a "measure" (jaja) passed by New Mexico state Senate on Tuesday, "poquito" and "all kinds" were deemed acceptable units of measurement in state schools. "This is a huge step in removing the shackles of the imperial system as well as the unrealstic expectations of the metric system." said Senator Lucero. As is customary, you add un poquito and try not to put all kinds in the chile. This is familiar in the community and we at the Zia Sopapilla try to use only un poquito de sal, pero all kinds of humor. We stand behind the Senate and hope they take it nationwide.

  ¿Tres Leches? ¿Por qué no cuatro?  City Co uncilman Roger Fernandez introduced a controversial bill to change to the city's official cake ingredients to include a 4th leche. He questions traditional values with progressive stances on inclusiveness. He asks the community, " ¿Tres Leches? ¿Por qué no cuatro?" Councilwoman Montoya said, "Changes to the city's favorite pastry is taken very seriously and we hope that as a governing body, we make the right decision for the people of Las Vegas, NM."  Citizens are asking, "what is this 4th leche anyway?" Councilman Fernandez said in a statement on Wednesday, "I have been forced to change my diet and now have to drink almond leche. I want to feel like I still belong in the community. I'm sure other lactose intolerant people feel left out and that's all sad." Protests are being planned by leche purists and will take place before the vote on Wednesday July 8th at City Hall. The meeting wil...

Decorated Descansos This week's saddest roadside attractions This week's featured descansos are brought to you by Baca Auto and Martinez Heating.  Week of June 26th First of all, siento mucho. It's sadness that brings our species together. Nothing says, "this is exactly where someone died" better than a cross and santitos distracting others on the side of the road.  Each week we feature the newest descansos popping up around the community. Take a drive, say some prayers and enjoy a weekend of collective grief. Michael Mora (01/04/1965 - 05/30/24) Michael Mora's familia has decorated a hand carved cross made of piñon tree and aspen. A gorgeous piece of work, adorned with flowers and Michael's favorite Bronco jersey. Visit route 57 on the corner near the tiendita. Pray the rosary there and receive one free sin from the good lord above. Maria Sena (03/21/1933 - 06/01/24) Maria Sena, abuelita to many, was laid to rest in early June. She died tragically in walk...

After a prolonged bout of stage 4 cottonmouth, Lil Carne Seca is in need of extensive dental work to repair months of having like, no spit. Elder homie, H2Og, arguably our crew’s most hydrated toker, tried to warn Lil Carne Seca, but he wouldn’t listen. H2Og is quoted as saying, “Eee now that fool is going to need a GoFundMe.” As of press time, no one cared enough to set up the campaign, but the crew decided they’ll do it, “after this last joint.”  We’ll update as we get more information. Thoughts and prayers to the homie Lil Carne Seca. We told you, a. 

 LAS VEGAS, NM, Feb 30, 2022 -- After two Public Speaking classes at Highlands, Mama Dolores creates a a riveting Master Class on heño based parenting. Class to be held at Our Lady of Sorrows Parish Hall. Learn her tried and true methods, such as: The "callate we're in church" glare The open ojo warnings The surprised, "Oh si, you think you're tough?" Mama Dolores will also cover how to adjust your gaze based on your hitos' age and the malés they're making. Sign-up at all Lowe's Super Save locations.

  Getting down for a chimi? Grabbing a Tallsup after putting gas? Yes, you'll smell like Allsups, and yes it will take some careful movidas to get your clothes smelling fresh again. We have a 3 wash process that works 100% of the time and we'll share it with you. Wash 1 Grab some osha and place a piece in the washer with your Allsups clothes Wash in osha and hot water so the clothing smells worse than the original Allsups smell Wash 2 Now that your clothes wreak of osha, place a small amount of Vicks under your nostrils to get you through the next steps Add vinegar to the washer and do a cycle on rinse only You're replacing the osha smell with the vinegar smell so you're 2 smells away from the Allsups smell Remove clothes and soak in Fabuloso in one of those tubs your get from the hospital. We know your Abuela has one saved. Wash 3 Place Fabuloso soaked clothing in washer Add fabric softener and wash the load like normal When the load is complete you will have successfu...

Elena Lopez, hita de Bernadette Lovato, was given the reality check of her 10 year old lifetime yesterday. While attending a family barbecue, her little cousin Jake asked, “Is Stella really your Tía or my Auntie Bernadette’s best friend? Why isn’t she my Tía like Bernadette?” Perplexed, she asked her mom, and we here at Zia Sopapilla confirmed, that Tía Stella is in fact, Bernadette’s friend of 23 years. Elena Lopez is currently in recovery pondering what sangre really means. 

  Tired of all the group texts and cryptic social media posts, local chismosas took matters into their own hands and started up a news site to show all the haters what's up. From chile news to that rumor about Maria's man, we'll have you asking, "who's really down?" Come throw a cruise with us up and down I-25, around 518 and over 285, homies.